U.S. Open 2010: Roger Federer in ‘The Bourne Descendancy’

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at Internationaled.org

Published: September 12, 2010

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Jason Bourne was on the run....again.  Momentarily, he forgot where he was.  After all, he had been running away from the authorities from all over the world.  As he sprinted on, he began to search his mind.  Was it Rome, Moscow, London, Nairobi, Cedar Rapids, IA.....Cedar Rapids?? 

He remembered now.  He pilfered two ears of corn from a farmer's field.  Unfortunately, the farmer had his four acres of corn under video surveillance and called the local authorities.  Now two police cars were in hot pursuit of the ever-sprinting-ahead Bourne. 

They surrounded him.  He stood with his hands in the air as the three police officers approached him.  In one swift move he karate chopped, kicked and subdued the officers instantaneously.  However, in his "too quick for the eye" movements, he also elbowed himself in the back of the head, knocking himself out cold.

He woke up on a small town Iowa prison cell.  He was strapped tightly to his chair which was bolted to the floor.  A huge obese man garbed in a local authority uniform with an over-sized belt holding up a gun and a baton.

Deputy:  I am Deputy Amos E. Anderson.  You are going to talk to me and start by stating your name and where your from. 

Bourne: I got nothing to say to you.



 

Deputy:  Then let the torture begin. Fellas come in here.

The fellow officers come in and the deputy leaves the room.  They work Bourne over for two and a half hours.  His face is littered with bruises, black eyes and puffed out lips.  He is coughing out blood when the deputy walks back in.

Deputy: Well now.  You got something to say, now's the time to say it. 

Bourne:  You won't get anything out of me.  I am the best at what I do. 

Deputy: Oh and what is that?
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Tennis

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