Real Cause Revealed For Federer’s Lung Condition: Chain Smoking (Humor)

By
at Internationaled.org

Published: March 5, 2010

commentComment        

Tennis superstar Roger Federer today shocked the world by confessing that he is in reality a chain-smoker.  He held a press conference today in Basel, Switzerland to offer his sincere apologies in Tiger Woods-like fashion. Here is the transcript:

"First of all, I want to apologize to my wife Mirka.  I am sorry that I deceived you and the twins.  I realize the road to recovery is going to be long.  But I am committed to making amends and not having to cough through it."

"I want to make clear that in no way did Mirka ever hand me a cigarette nor did she ever suggest doing so.  She is completely innocent in this ordeal.  I want her and the world to know that I am using the patch and will return to smoker's therapy as soon as I am done here."

"My lung infection was my body telling me that it was not going to tolerate a pack a day while I compete in the Grand slams.  I want to also apologize to my parents for letting them down although, Dad, I did see some questionable plants you were growing downstairs in the basement where my bedroom used to be."

"I want to thank the players on the tour for their understanding.  I want you to know that I will be back better than ever and if you think I was tough after beating you while smoking "camels", you better watch out when I finally kick the habit." 

"I hope to back for tennis someday.  I am not sure when that day will be but I think it could be for Indian Wells.  Indian Wells will be a challenge for me because of the great memories and smokes at the reservation over there.   I want to send a big puff out to my friend Chachi."

Although Roger Federer did lose Nike and Adidas as sponsors, he did pick up Du Maurier's and Malboro to compensate. 

Upon finishing his interview, Roger was whisked away into his smokey limo where he was rumored to have said "Light me up!" upon entering i...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Tennis

Latest News


Comments

Comments are closed.

Sponsors

Bruins Tickets The Boston Bruins are a professional ice hockey team based in Boston, Massachusetts. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

Red Wings Tickets The Detroit Red Wings are a professional ice hockey team based in Detroit, Michigan. They are members of the Central Division of the Western Conference of the National Hockey League.

Penguins Tickets The Pittsburgh Penguins are a professional ice hockey team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. They are members of the Atlantic Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

New York Rangers Tickets play their home games at Madison Square Garden, they are one of the oldest teams in the NHL, having joined in 1926 as an expansion franchise, and are part of the group of teams referred to as the Original Six.

San Jose Sharks Tickets The San Jose Sharks are a professional ice hockey team based in San Jose, California, United States.

Toronto Maple Leafs Tickets The Toronto Maple Leafs are a professional ice hockey team based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

New Jersey Devils Tickets The New Jersey Devils are a professional ice hockey team based in Newark, New Jersey. They are members of the Atlantic Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

Washington Capitals Tickets The Washington Capitals are a professional ice hockey team based in Washington, D.C.

Buffalo Sabres Tickets The Buffalo Sabres are a professional ice hockey team based in Buffalo, New York. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League. Get the Sabres and all of your NHL Tickets here.

NASCAR season is on of the most attended sports in the world. NASCAR Tickets to the best tracks is a must every year. Some of these tracks are: Talladega Tickets, Lowes Motor Speedway Tickets, Pocono Raceway Tickets, located in Ridgeway Virginia you have Martinsville Speedway Tickets and southern US you have two of the most popular Atlanta Motor Speedway Tickets and Texas Motor Speedway Tickets. Don't miss all the racing events this year!

Boston Red Sox Tickets The Boston Red Sox are a member of the Major League Baseball’s American League Eastern Division. Since 1912, the Red Sox's home ballpark has been Fenway Park. This is one of the hottest MLB Tickets sales of any team in the major league.

New York Yankees Tickets The New York Yankees are a professional baseball team based in the borough of the Bronx, in New York City, New York and are a member of Major League Baseball's American League East Division. Get tickets to one of the hottest games of the season Yankees Red Sox Tickets.

Chicago Cubs Tickets The Chicago Cubs are an American professional baseball team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the Central Division of Major League Baseball's National League.

Phillies Tickets The Philadelphia Phillies are a Major League Baseball team based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They are the oldest continuous, one-name, one-city franchise in all of professional American sports, dating to 1883.

Orioles Tickets The Baltimore Orioles are a professional baseball team based in Baltimore, Maryland.

Do you love wrestling? Get your WWE Tickets and WWE Survivor Series Tickets today!