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10 Awesomely Fabricated Tweets from Day 1 of the Australian Open
Published: January 18, 2011
Here are the best thoughts from Day One of the Aussie, in 140 characters or less...**
CaroWozniacki: gisela couldn't handle my moonballs today!! best number1 evrrr. #moonballs #conchitamartinez #playinglikeit's1995
JuJuHenin: @carloschinchillarodriguez sania's forehand hot like indian curry last night. why u not coach from stands in first set. hate uuuu.
mashasharapova: Tammy ate a little too much Thai food over the offseason... Sure her last name isn't Ton-asugarn?
RFedNumberOne: @rafanadal Good luck tmrw in ur first round dude. U wouldn't wanna lose as the heavy favorite in a crazy marathon five-setter or anything.
vika7: thanks 2 all my fans in new guinea who sent me passenger pigeons saying they could hear my grunts!!! luv u!! #AusOpen #NewGuinea #SexyGrunt
MardyFishSticks: almost got fish fried by dracula on court 3 today... little did he know THIS filet was sauteed in GARLIC! MUAHAHAHA. #fishinfive
SvetlanaK27: sveta no svet much on court 2day. gunna go listen to fitty and smack around some hoes in da locker room. #ausopen #bustarussiancapinyoass
MaryCarizzle: i miss seducing the american people with my manly undertones and lighthearted sexual innuendos. why ESPN? WHYYY? #espnblows
venuseswilliams: pulled on my dress more times 2day than a drag queen with a bad rash but still won!! WHOOP WHOOP jehovah gonna smite all those haterz!
serenawilliams: FML.
**While I wish these Tweets were real, they are, unfortunately, completely fictitious.
But you know they all were thinking the same things...
Read more Tennis news on BleacherReport.com
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